I see you!
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
The Mental Load Leadership Rarely Talks About
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and while conversations often focus on stress, burnout, and self-care, there is one group I don't think we talk enough about:
Leaders.
The ones carrying goals.
The ones carrying escalations.
The ones with open-door policies.
The ones expected to motivate others while quietly carrying the concerns, frustrations, fears, and uncertainties of an entire team.
As recruiters, we get a unique glimpse into this world.
We sit across from leaders during intake calls and hiring conversations. We hear the polished version first — growth plans, hiring needs, strategic initiatives.
But if you listen carefully, eventually something else starts to emerge.
The exhaustion.
The pressure.
The weight.
"I can't seem to shut my mind off."
"I wake up at 3 a.m. thinking about it."
"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this pace."
What people don't always see is that leadership often becomes emotional storage space.
Someone on the team is frustrated? They bring it to you.
A customer escalates an issue? It comes to you.
A deadline slips? You own it.
The business misses goals? You feel responsible.
You become the person everyone unloads onto while rarely asking yourself:
Where am I putting all of this?
Because many leaders don't.
Somewhere along the way, leadership convinced us that being strong meant being able to carry more.
But carrying more isn't always strength.
Sometimes it's simply carrying too much.
I felt that recently while visiting Germany.
I was there spending time with my aging mom. Physically, I was present. But mentally?
My mind kept getting pulled back to work.
Open items.
Questions.
Things needing responses.
Problems needing solutions.
I remember sitting there feeling frustrated and emotional because I realized I wasn't fully where I wanted to be.
I couldn't get away.
Not really.
And it brought me to tears.
Because in that moment, I wasn't thinking about missed emails or business priorities.
I was thinking about time.
About moments you don't get back.
About wanting to be fully present for someone you love.
At home, I also see leadership through another lens.
My husband is a CEO in the automotive industry - leadership doesn't magically stop at 5:00 p.m.
People might assume executives go home and disconnect.
Many don't.
The meetings end.
The thoughts don't.
The responsibilities don't.
The mental tabs stay open.
Which is why I have become increasingly convinced of something:
Leadership was never meant to be carried alone.
Behind healthy leaders is usually a foundation that nobody sees.
Partners.
Family.
Friends.
Mentors.
People who allow them to put down the armor for a moment.
People who make it safe to say:
"I don't have this figured out today."
"I am tired."
"I need help."
Because showing weakness isn't weakness.
Pretending you don't need support is.
So to the leaders carrying more than anyone realizes:
I see you.
And maybe it's time to ask yourself a few questions:
What boundaries have I allowed to disappear?
Who do I talk to when I need support?
What am I carrying that doesn't belong to me?
When was the last time I was fully present somewhere without my mind being somewhere else?
Leadership matters.
Goals matter.
Performance matters.
But the person carrying it all matters too.
You matter.
Because eventually even the strongest shoulders need somewhere to set the weight down.
